Ron Barber Recounts:
Benefit for The Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding
The January 8th Tucson Shootings
The Healing

By Mariah Fleming
Images by R. A. Bowen

"Maybe now people will use their kind words" responded Ron Barber's four year old granddaughter Ailsa when his wife Nancy tried to explain the January 8th Tucson shootings to her. And as Barber, who is Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords' District Director, began the process of learning to walk again after being shot in his leg and face, he thought "There must be a way to bring some good from this horrid event."

Barber had an idea but he didn't have a name for what he wanted to do. When he was finally released from the hospital, Barber and his wife had a family meeting. "Our family sat around the dinner table as we do every Sunday and thought about what we should call the project. My wife Nancy, my daughters, my sons-in-law and I knew we wanted a name that focused on common ground and that struck a chord no matter what a person's politics might be." The family decided the best description for what they are trying to accomplish is "The Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding."

Tucson Mayor Bob Walkup strongly agrees with Barber about the need for a commitment to civility in the wake of the shootings. Mayor Walkup has been tremendously impressed with the powerful way Ron Barber has dealt with the tragic events of January 8th. The mayor told me, "Ron came to within an inch of losing his life. And this experience sent him signals to create a new life for himself, and to help the community in positive ways."

Mayor Walkup said President Obama had also inspired him. At the mayor's first meeting with Obama at the airport, prior to President Obama's January 12th Memorial Speech, he said Obama had appeared very somber and concerned. At the Memorial Service, Mayor Walkup was most impressed with how President Obama "turned a memorial speech into a positive celebration of healing." President Obama brought up the subject of civility at the Memorial Service. Obama said America must move beyond finger pointing to healing and constructive conversation. Seeing that spirit in Obama motivated Mayor Walkup to create a "Civility Accord" for the mayors in the United States, and within a week, Mayor Walkup went to meet with many mayors in Washington. "There are now some 300 United States mayors who have signed the Civility Accord," he said. "This affects over 40 million US citizens in 300 states."

In signing the Civility Accord, mayors pledge to:

Walkup and Barber both seek to encourage common ground among people. Barber is proud that the seed money for his own project, The Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding, came from people without regard to politics. "One of Tucson's staunchest Republicans, [auto dealership owner] Jim Click, has a big heart. He said he liked what we were doing and donated $50,000 to the fund!" Barber exclaimed. Another $25,000 donation was received. The Community Foundation for Southern Arizona released a donation from the fund for the up front costs of the concert. This was an outstanding start, but Barber knew it would take much more to accomplish his dream.

"Music is unifying and healing," Barber remarked. From his home in Tucson, Barber told me that's how the idea for the benefit concert evolved. "People came out from all over Arizona to wish us well. The state and national good will has been phenomenal. It has helped the victims' healing process tremendously!" he explained.

Barber said they wanted to find artists who were socially conscious, and the first person who came to mind was Jackson Browne. Barber first encountered Browne through the Verde Valley benefits Browne sponsored until 2001. Browne had also done fundraising work for the Tucson Center for Biodiversity, and Barber was acquainted with him through that. So he reached out to see if Browne was interested in helping The Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding.

"Jackson Browne's manager, Cree Miller, contacted me to say that Jackson Browne was interested," Barber explained. "Cree wanted to know who we wanted, and when we wanted to put it on." They chose March 10th, which gave them less than a month to put it all together. Browne and Miller suggested long time Valley promoter Danny Zelisko would be the ideal promoter for the event. Zelisko had just started his new venture, Danny Zelisko Presents. He didn't need to think twice about helping and jumped on board.

Things started happening at lightning speed. Within two weeks the venue was lined up. Zelisko contacted Alice Cooper and together with Jackson Browne they recruited all the performers. "The performers were all socially conscious, like Jackson Browne, David Crosby and Graham Nash. "Crosby is one of my all time favorites," Barber said. "My wife knows that someday, when the time comes for my memorial, I want my song to be "Almost Cut My Hair"!

Other iconic musicians signed on, like the great Sam Moore, and Arizona favorite Jerry Riopelle. Among others, Barber specifically asked for Dar Williams and Keb' Mo'. "Not one person hesitated. I was very touched by what all of the artists did. Each artist was there because they wanted to be there. Ozomatli even dropped their boycott of Arizona over SB 1070 to play at the benefit concert."

Calexico, a Tucson favorite, has done many benefits for the community. Barber first heard them play two years ago with a mariachi band. He asked them to bring the mariachi band Luz De Luna along for the concert. Barber said, "Luz De Luna's leader was so honored to be able to play for this. I found out that every night he brought different mariachi groups to play and pray at the memorial that was set up outside the hospital where the victims were being treated."

From start to finish the event was flawless. When I told Barber how impressed I was that the performers sang songs that were specifically tied to the idea of the fund, he said the music was very carefully chosen. "For two days before the show, people who never worked together before learned each other's songs." Songs were planned to fit powerfully and seamlessly with each aspect of the event. "It was an incredible group effort," Barber explained. "Cree Miller was very collaborative with me. She staged it really well. So much credit for how it all worked goes to her. We sold 5200 tickets and underwriters even paid for the comps. Cree did that."

When I asked Cree Miller if she had any comments about the benefit, she told me, "It was a complete pleasure working with Ron. His spirit is what led the entire event, and is what made it easy for me to work as hard as we all did to put this event on." She went on to say, "It was really one of the best benefit events, from top to bottom, that I have ever been involved in, and Ron set the tone for that to happen. He is inspiring. And I feel like I've made a lifelong friend."

Miller elaborated on the work their artists do: "We do a lot of benefit work on behalf of our artists. It's always a pleasure to know the end result is helping some common good. Being of service is something that comes naturally to me, and I am honored to have been able to work with so many dedicated people who are striving to make this world a better place."

The five-hour event included musicians Jackson Browne, David Crosby, Graham Nash, Alice Cooper, Sam Moore, Dar Williams, Keb' Mo', Nils Lofgren, Jerry Riopelle, Jennifer Warnes, Roger Clyne, Calexico and Ozimatli (see accompanying review) and others. The Tucson Convention Center donated the venue, and Barber, who has not fully recovered from severe leg wounds, walked inside the center to find the thousands of people who bought tickets in support of The Fund. "We wanted to make the concert accessible to everybody so we started ticket prices at $25," he said. The numbers are not all in, but Barber estimated that the concert garnered more than $100,000 for The Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding. The money will go to support the victims, the first responders, to create bullying prevention programs in schools, preventative mental health programs and many other related issues.

Barber described the activity backstage at the concert as lively and good spirited, like a family. People eager to help poured in. Backstage food was donated from local stores. Barber lined up forty-five volunteers himself. Zelisko did the production and Miller put the show together. Every performance was stellar. "It was two days of rehearsal for people who had never sung together before," Barber said. "The feeling was so heartfelt I can't say enough about how they all were." When Jackson Browne found out Calexico was going to do the song he wrote for his wife called "Paloma" he wanted to join Calexico for the song. "The band was thrilled," Barber reported.

The Barbers' six-year old granddaughter Tillie turned out to be a budding autograph collector. "Backstage, Tillie was running around with a piece of paper, solemnly asking all the musicians for their 'signatures'." Barber laughed. "Dar Williams even played Tillie and Ailsa to sleep with a lullaby."

Kieran, their eldest grandchild, was born in Scotland, at the base of a castle. One of the Barbers' daughters married a Scotsman and all the grandkids have Scottish names. Kieran, sporting a shock of long blonde hair, hung out with Alice Cooper backstage. "Love your hair man, don't ever cut it!" Cooper told him. "Kieran's battle to keep his hair long has finally been won," joked Barber.

The effortless mix of personalities and points of view intrigued Barber. "Backstage you've got conservative Alice Cooper and liberal activist Jackson Browne, but they find common ground." Barber said. "Alice Cooper is the sweetest guy in the world; so kind and sensitive. He said 'How's this going to work? Jackson Browne's band backing up Alice Cooper!' " Barber laughed. "The musicians are all such cool people." Barber went on to say, "David Crosby really has a connection with children. Backstage there was always a couterie of kids sitting in front of him, just talking. Crosby spent some time with Kieran and told me, "Your grandson is very special. I mean, he's so centered."

Preparations for the concert moved along like clockwork. "The musicians and crew were all there two days in advance of the show to prepare. Not one of them hesitated. Each had his own take on why it was important to be there. Each of them said they were absolutely honored to be there, that it was the right thing to do.." Barber was especially touched by the kindness shown to them by the musicians. "Every day Graham Nash was there with a hug for Nancy, or to ask 'How ya' doing, is there anything I can help you with?' He really went out of his way to find us each day."

Barber reminisced about the last time he'd encountered David Crosby. "It was the morning after a David Crosby concert at the Tucson Convention Center sometime in 1986, '87 or '88, I'm not exactly sure." he said. "I was at the Tucson airport. It was back when you could drive right up. I was dressed in my suit and tie and parked the car to go in. On the backseat of my car was a book David Crosby had written about his recovery from addiction. I saw Crosby sitting on a bench outside the airport and thought, 'Nah, I'm not gonna do this. And then I told myself 'Oh, yes I am!' So I walked over to Crosby, told him I enjoyed the concert, had just read his book and was glad to see him back. Crosby looked at me incredulously and said 'YOU READ MY BOOK, MAN?' " Barber chuckled.

The Community Foundation for Southern Arizona manages the Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding. Vice President of Donor Relations and Program Services Evan Mendelson told me, "Ron and his family are amazing. Both Ron and his family were extremely involved in the benefit.His son-in-law even created the logo for The Fund for Civility," Mendelson said. "The event happened because of Ron and his family. And the feeling in the community [created from the event and the Fund for Civility] worked. It really did help heal the community. I talked to Keb' Mo' who said it was one of the best charity events he had ever been involved in."

When I asked Barber what has been the most important aspect of his emotional recovery, he said: "My family. My wife Nancy and my daughters and sons-in-law were there at the ICU with me 24/7. I was never alone. They have all been incredibly supportive." In his treatment, Barber said the most important aspect of his recovery has been EMDR treatments for post-traumatic stress. It is used with soldiers for post- traumatic stress, he explained. "My cousin is certified in EMDR. I have had trouble sleeping, with the images of my boss and the others getting shot going through my mind. After my first EMDR treatment I got my first good night's sleep. After my second session I slept for 10 hours."

While he was in the hospital, Barber started seeing a good friend of his who is a psychologist. That is also helping him in his recovery. This week he started Aqua Therapy for his leg. He had his first treatment on the day of our interview and called me when it was over. "It's another phase of treatment for my leg" he explained. "I really liked it. I'm looking forward to doing more of it."

During his recovery in the ICU, when Barber learned that President Obama was coming to visit him, his nurse told him he couldn't get out of bed. "I just couldn't be comfortable not standing when the President came to see me." he said. "So they dressed me and got me in a chair. With the help of my son-in-law and daughter, I was able to stand and greet the President. So I stood to shake his hand and the President ordered me to sit down, so I did." he laughed. Obama spent quite a good deal of time with Barber. "I was very impressed with Obama. He was very engaged. He was totally present." Barber explained.

The President and Michelle Obama were very curious about the Barbers’ grandchildren. "They asked all the kids’ names and ages and they remembered them. I told Michelle Obama 'Kieran doesn't like to eat his vegetables' and she told him ‘You eat your vegetables! Keiran, this is the First Lady. I'm going to be checking up on you!' "

"Anyone who says President Obama doesn't have feelings doesn't know what they're talking about. They don't know him." Barber emphasized. He paused a moment and said, "When Obama was visiting me, I thought to myself: 'This is the President of the United States! He's really busy. And he's spending time with me!' "

If you couldn't attend the benefit concert, there are still some t-shirts and other souvenirs available. All proceeds go to the Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding. Items can be purchased from Bohemia in Tucson or at Bohemiatucson.com. For full information on The Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding, to donate, or to find out how to help, go to the Community Foundation for Southern Arizona website at CFOAZ.org.

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